Leave me unholy

Still chasing the cedar waters of the pines with ghost, holding hands with memories better left in the woods. Where my soul was once clean & untouched by the crumbling churches and stained glass choices, running from the life of a preachers voice. Sleeping on altars through services, wearing shame as a dress made of the dirtiest linen, lips blood soaked in mercy, never tasted.

Left with handprints on white skin from altar boys who couldn’t resist kissing behind wooden pews, their vile fingers tracing the hem of my skirt, staining my flesh in sin. Staring into the eyes of the devil & daring his intentions because that’s what preachers daughters do. Pressed against the fountain where souls were once washed clean in baptism, now tarnished by dirty hands and missing skirts. Washing my mouth out with the unclean water, promising never to do it again.

We all rebel from the day we are born, cursing our life and assuming we deserve to touch sky with delicate fingertips, yet I have never known nothing more intimate than lying to myself & drenching my salvation in shame, while the good Lord watched. Father always said, I was kissed by the devil, little did he know I was hell bent & marked by the flames. I still taste his bone & ash every time I drink from God’s fountain with empty eyes.

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She chose light

The darkness draws you in
Whispering your name
On bitter cold windsIt calls to your heart
On a howl and twisting fingers
Branches of bone white
Grasping you so tight

Taking hold
Of your unforgiving soul
Stealing your breath
Taking its toll

Shadows become your past
Images play in front of your eyes
Showing you everything you loved
Everything you destroyed

It lights a match
To outstretched hands
Embracing your future
Setting it to fire
Turning dreams to sand

Allowing each memory
To fall through fingertips
Ash and smoke
All the things I loved the most

When there is nothing left 
But tears and ragged breaths
Ghost and shadows of the past
No one left to hold
This shaking girl
In a unforgivable and cruel world

Your demons are the only 
Ones left to hold
When no one else
Stood with you , in the cold. 

She embraced the darkness
With arms open wide
Fed her demons
Nothing left to hide. 
Stood on the ashes of her life

And too broken to fight

She closed her eyes
Darkness consumed her life

Walked with her shadow
Chased down her ghost
Lived her life with what she hated the most

…. Woke from a dream
That was really a nightmare

Chose to walk in the light~



Shadows of yesterday still haunt my today

the creep into corners of my wretched soul

and find their way out of my flesh

creating the demons that hide

within my eyes.

I try not to give in to their selfish demands

though I feed them to keep them

over taking a helpless soul,

wishing I could shine bright enough

to cast aside the shadows

that follow me.

Yet my flicker is just a spark

in a very dark world

where demons dwell

and the silence takes hold.

Screaming through the body

I call my home.